He pierced my heart with arrows from His quiver

Jesus, I pray YOUR promises penetrate my heart in such a way that bleeds the gospel. 

May I proclaim this truth as I stand here painfully weeping. As my blood trickles down the lines of my flesh, may its hues reflect You as You stand before me, Your compassionate eyes fixed upon me, Your hands outstretched toward me.
I see you but You don't come.
You stare.
You cry.
"Why aren't you helping me?" I plead.

In my weakness, I fall to my knees. With a shortness of breath, I try calling to You, running to You, but my bleeding wound has made me weak. Through misty eyes, I see Your silhouette. You're walking toward me.
My sight begins to go; Your figure, a hazy blur.
Darkness is all I see but I feel You.
I feel Your hands. I feel them tugging, I feel them pulling. They're gentle. They're loving.
And then you're gone and I'm alone. I'm tired, I'm weak...I sleep.

When I rise, I find my body,once feeble and faint, now strong and able. My appearance has changed- I'm wearing robes of white. I see my old clothes, tattered, worn, and bloody, piled at my side.
And then I see it.
A scar.
Once a gaping wound, now a stronger skin.
With a love I hardly comprehend, You mended me; You stitched me.

My scar(s) scream of Your death, Your resurrection, Your forgiveness, Your love.
I smile. I weep. I worship.
And I dance, I dance with my King.

"So I say, 'My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.' I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"
Lamentations 3:18-24

Dear reader, remember your scars. Remember where you've come from and worship because of where He has brought you. You may not understand His ways, You may not understand His reasoning, but He is still good! Praise Him who offers you robes of righteousness! Praise Him who beckons you to dine at His table!
Share your scars. Share His truth.

vulnerability

The simpleness of my thinking is alarming.
Monotony has become routine.
Life often becomes colorless and dull.
The battle of my mind is one which wages and wars time after time. Even as I sit here typing, my mind is incredibly quick to jump from distraction to distraction. One diversion after the other. There is chaos yet there is nothing.
It never ceases. Never stops.

Breathe, child. 

Today, I'm choosing not to live this way.

I'm learning that life is not pretty. I'm learning that it's okay to not be okay.
I'm learning how to talk. I'm learning how to think. I'm learning how to meditate. I'm learning to how to reflect. I'm learning how to die while simultaneously learning how to live.
It's a brutal battle yet there's freedom in the fighting. I can see a victory! I claim it in the name of my King.

However, the lies continue. Daily they're whispered-
"Don't go too deep, for there, you are wounded. There, you are bleeding. There, you are messy. No one wants to heal you. You're too tattered."

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. 

He is my Constant.
He is my Consoler.
He is my Counselor.

Lord, I pray for you to invade the deepest parts of my heart. I invite you to heal me. To fight for me. To take my battles upon yourself. Thank you for caring, for listening, for helping. You're much too good.

May you, dear reader, engage your Creator today. May you deny the enemy's attempts to distract you or discourage you. Drown yourself in Him, His presence, His beauty. And there, may you shine like the stars of the universe.

A tribute to the misfits

I am surrounded by incredible people with beautiful souls. My friends, these people I'm speaking of, are a curious kind. They're the people who go unnoticed; they stay in the shadows. They're the freaks, the weirdos, the people who don't give a rip about what other people think. They're the fighters, the warriors, the believers, they're the blood, the sweat, and the tears. My friends, are the people who aren't afraid to get their hands, feet, face, arms, legs and head dirty. In fact, they beg and plead for it. They show no sign of weakness, they are the strongest of their kind but, you, commoner, wouldn't know it. These people I am referring to, look like you, breath like you, talk like you, and move like you, but their DNA is drastically different. They scream when the world says to whisper and they sprint toward the places the world says to shy away from. They love and they hate. They lose but they gain. They've caught a disease and they will not retire until all has been infected. They're viral. They're flaming. Look into their fiery eyes, and if you're lucky, you'll catch a glimpse of what burns within each and every one of them. They've been radically changed and dramatically altered. They bleed love. They bleed war.

Matthew 10:34-39
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Sweet Beginnings

The idea of starting a blog has been on my mind for quite some time now, and as you can tell, I've decided to finally hunker down and do it. I've decided to let the world wide web hear some of the random and chaotic thoughts that run through my tiny little brain. As I was sitting here, I was thinking about what I would want to bring to this complex and circuitous blogging world. What do I have to offer to this little piece of internet real estate? This is what I've concluded...

I want you, you darling, interesting, and creative person that you are, to fall in love with everything. There is an entire world out there to explore and its filled with adventures, battles, stories, and songs.

Life is short. Enjoy it. Love it. Draw it. Paint it. Write it. Eat it. Wear it. Capture it.  Find the things that you love, and hug them. This is what I'll write about. This is what I'll share. Join me, fellow friend, as I embark on this new and exciting blogging adventure where I'll record and share with you my comely collection of chaos.